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After having clearly explained a link between his aspirations and MBA, he now dwells at length how UCLA's specific academic offerings (courses, projects) would match his interests and goals.Also, I appreciate the rich array of resources offered via BIT Global Research Network and Price Center for Entrepreneurial Studies, and am particularly excited to attend the BIT conference and Entrepreneurship Conference that will give me a valuable opportunity to understand the real-life business issues directly from the leaders themselves.
This is not only boring, but it also diminishes the Admissions Committee's interest in your essay and makes them wonder "So what?Then he shares his post-MBA goals of joining a reputed Technology and Strategic solution organization and also specifies how his present skills and the skills he plans to acquire during his two years at MBA will help him realize his short term goals.Then he proceeds to explain his plan of gradually moving towards his long term goals." So your objective should be to build a story around your goals, keeping the Admissions Committee engaged and making them learn about you as a person with definitive goals and aspirations. At age 15, when most of my friends were busy playing cricket or video games, I was having fun creating small pieces of software on computers borrowed from my friends in exchange of doing their homework.By the time I graduated from high school, I was already an expert in not only popular programming languages such as C or Java, but also in obscure and specialized ones such as FORTRAN.